I have decided to start a blog so that I can journal my feelings as we prepare for Madeline's arrival. Several people have suggested keeping a journal and after reading the blog that Eliot's parents have, I was inspired to write my own. Maybe this will help me as we go through the next few months.
I am now 28 weeks into my pregnancy with Madeline and am getting uncomfortable; however, I am able to get a good night's sleep. Sleep is really great for the mind and body. I guess it is the only time when I don't have Madeline's health on my mind, although I have begun dreaming of her and what her birth will be like.
This whole experience has been so overwhelming and unfamiliar to Brian and me. I have already learned so much. I remember when I went to the dr. for the first time after finding out I was pregnant and seeing the heartbeat and immediately feeling such a sense of relief. I, so naively, thought that because we had a heartbeat, all would be okay. I guess we take so much for granted, like having healthy children. I know it never occured to me that something could be wrong with our baby since we already had 4 perfect boys. It was not until the 12th week checkup that Dr. Boddy saw "soft markers" on the ultrasound that caused concern. Since that day, it seems our life has been a mess. But a mess with lots of hope. I won't give up on hope and prayer! I am still believing in miracles or at least a chance to get to know Madeline and let her know how much she is loved.
I am so anxious about seeing Dr. Hamm on Friday when he will do an echocardiogram on Madeline's heart. I am scared of all that could be wrong but I am praying that God will give me peace about what is to come. Please pray with us as we find out more information about Madeline's condition. I was just reading a post on the Trisomy website that another mother wrote about the significance of Friday. It all made sense and made me feel better. This Friday, the day of my doctor's appointment, is Good Friday and is symbolic of the day Jesus was crucified. I am comforted knowing that God knows the pain we are in because of his own Son's death.
Monstruosamente Solo ()
1 year ago