Saturday, June 20, 2009

Happy Father's Day, Brian!

Happy Father's Day to the greatest daddy I know. I am honored to be married to a sweet man who truly knows the meaning of loving others unconditionally, especially his family. I have had the pleasure of witnessing the sacred relationship between a father and his sons. Brian is the best daddy a little boy could have. He is fun, quick to laugh and play, loves adventure, and is a great teacher. He is a coach, an advisor, a fixer, an encourager, a buddy, and a hero to four little boys. Brian makes my job as a mother so meaningful because he is there sharing in the little moments in our everyday life. We love him so much and want him to know how very much he means to us.
And if Madeline were here with us, I can only imagine how sweet he would be with her. She stole his heart (and mine) when she was born. I will never forget how Brian loved her with everything that he was when she was here. He loved us both enough to not miss a doctor's appointment when I was expecting Madeline so he could see her on the ultrasound. He valued her life way before she was born and loved me through some pretty tough times after Madeline left this earth. I know she is looking down from Heaven and is proud of the man that her daddy is.

Thank you, Brian for all that you are and all that you give to our family. We love you very much. You are a great man and your greatest accomplishments look up to you each and everyday.


Saturday, June 6, 2009

2 years

Tomorrow is June 7th and it has been two years since Madeline joined our family. As I reflect on the two years since her birth and death, I am amazed that so much time has passed, yet it seems like only yesterday that we were holding her and praying for a miracle. I am reminded that though her life was very short, she is such a precious member of our family.
Last year, we celebrated her first birthday with the Miles for Madeline First Annual 5K. This year we have decided to host the race in the fall in hopes that it will be much cooler. As her second birthday approaches, I can't help but think of all the things I would have done differently had I known what I know now. But I have learned that living with regret is useless and only makes the heart hurt more.
So today, I celebrate the gift that Madeline was and remember all the sweet things about her. She was so tiny and precious and had the best lips for kissing. I will never forget her blowing bubbles and Brian putting his chapstick on her little mouth because they were dry. She looked so much like Harrison and had Brian's long toes and dark hair and eyes. I don't think there was anything about her that looked like me!
I would give just about anything to have her here with me again, if just for a little while. I hold on to the promise that I will get to see her again in Heaven. And that keeps me going on days when I think I might just crumble. Keep our family in your prayers as we celebrate this bittersweet time with our family and friends. We are blessed to have so many people love and support us through our loss and I am blessed to be able to do the same for others who have experienced the loss of their baby. We continue to learn from Madeline's life and try not to take a moment for granted. We will always tell the boys about her and hope that they will always somehow "know" their sister.
Happy Birthday, Madeline! We love you and miss you so much.