Saturday, June 6, 2009

2 years

Tomorrow is June 7th and it has been two years since Madeline joined our family. As I reflect on the two years since her birth and death, I am amazed that so much time has passed, yet it seems like only yesterday that we were holding her and praying for a miracle. I am reminded that though her life was very short, she is such a precious member of our family.
Last year, we celebrated her first birthday with the Miles for Madeline First Annual 5K. This year we have decided to host the race in the fall in hopes that it will be much cooler. As her second birthday approaches, I can't help but think of all the things I would have done differently had I known what I know now. But I have learned that living with regret is useless and only makes the heart hurt more.
So today, I celebrate the gift that Madeline was and remember all the sweet things about her. She was so tiny and precious and had the best lips for kissing. I will never forget her blowing bubbles and Brian putting his chapstick on her little mouth because they were dry. She looked so much like Harrison and had Brian's long toes and dark hair and eyes. I don't think there was anything about her that looked like me!
I would give just about anything to have her here with me again, if just for a little while. I hold on to the promise that I will get to see her again in Heaven. And that keeps me going on days when I think I might just crumble. Keep our family in your prayers as we celebrate this bittersweet time with our family and friends. We are blessed to have so many people love and support us through our loss and I am blessed to be able to do the same for others who have experienced the loss of their baby. We continue to learn from Madeline's life and try not to take a moment for granted. We will always tell the boys about her and hope that they will always somehow "know" their sister.
Happy Birthday, Madeline! We love you and miss you so much.


Laurie in Ca. said...

I celebrate your sweet Madeline with you Mandy. It doesn't seem like it has been two years but I am reminded by reading this today. I still pray for you and your family, asking God to gently carry you through the healing process that is still so fresh. I love you sweet friend and will do something special here in remembrance of her sweet life. My heart hurts for your missing her. She is and will always be such an important member of your family. Always #5.

Love and Hugs, Laurie

Melissa said...

You are an extraordinary person!!! I'm glad to hear that ya'll will continue to 5K run in her memory. I will continue to keep your family in my prayers!

Emily said...

I am so thankful to have found you to walk this long road with. As we approach our girls' 2nd birthdays and Heaven Days, my heart is with yours. One day, sweet friend. One day, those gorgeous little dark haired girls, looking so much like their daddies, will run to us. May that always bring smiles to our faces and hope to our hearts.

Loving and honoring Madeline this weekend!

Heather said...

I have thought of you and your sweet baby girl so often these past two years. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Kenzie said...

Praying for you and your sweet family Mandy. I can imagine how today is certainly bittersweet... knowing she is in the arms of our Father and yet so much wanting her to just be in yours. So much love and sweet memories.

Love and praying,

Rebecca said...

I noticed you have hosted a race in honor of your daughter, that is something I want to do for my sweet girl who is also in heaven. I have no idea where to start and thought maybe you can help me! I love to run for the challenge, just as the marathon of life is a challenge that we can complete if we do with patience and with the Lord.
Becca Huffstutler

Shanker said...

Hi Mandy, you don't know me. I am a dad of 4 beautiful girls, the youngest we named Madeline Grace. Madeline lived with us for 5 months and yesterday morning went to be with her father in heaven. I remember reading your blog in the past and as I struggle with what to do now I come back to it, only because of the name and similar situation. I have prayed for you over the months, even for events that happened in your past. I am so proud that your Madeline has a 5k run!! What an accomplishment! I would like to know you more and see if we could get advice from you about what next. My email is and our blog is I would appreciate it if we could be in touch.

Shanker Wiegel.