Vote for Maxwell

Maxwell, my oldest son, needs your vote. Please go to www.shanacawley.blogspot.com and vote for him. He is photograph G and you can view his picture by scrolling down and then vote at the top left-hand corner. We are getting close to first place. Thanks for all your help. Get the word out and vote NOW!!!!

Mandy

Happy Father's Day, Brian!

Happy Father's Day to the greatest daddy I know. I am honored to be married to a sweet man who truly knows the meaning of loving others unconditionally, especially his family. I have had the pleasure of witnessing the sacred relationship between a father and his sons. Brian is the best daddy a little boy could have. He is fun, quick to laugh and play, loves adventure, and is a great teacher. He is a coach, an advisor, a fixer, an encourager, a buddy, and a hero to four little boys. Brian makes my job as a mother so meaningful because he is there sharing in the little moments in our everyday life. We love him so much and want him to know how very much he means to us.
And if Madeline were here with us, I can only imagine how sweet he would be with her. She stole his heart (and mine) when she was born. I will never forget how Brian loved her with everything that he was when she was here. He loved us both enough to not miss a doctor's appointment when I was expecting Madeline so he could see her on the ultrasound. He valued her life way before she was born and loved me through some pretty tough times after Madeline left this earth. I know she is looking down from Heaven and is proud of the man that her daddy is.
Thank you, Brian for all that you are and all that you give to our family. We love you very much. You are a great man and your greatest accomplishments look up to you each and everyday.

Mandy

2 years

Tomorrow is June 7th and it has been two years since Madeline joined our family. As I reflect on the two years since her birth and death, I am amazed that so much time has passed, yet it seems like only yesterday that we were holding her and praying for a miracle. I am reminded that though her life was very short, she is such a precious member of our family.
Last year, we celebrated her first birthday with the Miles for Madeline First Annual 5K. This year we have decided to host the race in the fall in hopes that it will be much cooler. As her second birthday approaches, I can't help but think of all the things I would have done differently had I known what I know now. But I have learned that living with regret is useless and only makes the heart hurt more.
So today, I celebrate the gift that Madeline was and remember all the sweet things about her. She was so tiny and precious and had the best lips for kissing. I will never forget her blowing bubbles and Brian putting his chapstick on her little mouth because they were dry. She looked so much like Harrison and had Brian's long toes and dark hair and eyes. I don't think there was anything about her that looked like me!
I would give just about anything to have her here with me again, if just for a little while. I hold on to the promise that I will get to see her again in Heaven. And that keeps me going on days when I think I might just crumble. Keep our family in your prayers as we celebrate this bittersweet time with our family and friends. We are blessed to have so many people love and support us through our loss and I am blessed to be able to do the same for others who have experienced the loss of their baby. We continue to learn from Madeline's life and try not to take a moment for granted. We will always tell the boys about her and hope that they will always somehow "know" their sister.
Happy Birthday, Madeline! We love you and miss you so much.

Memories

Today is our 12th anniversary. I joked to Brian last night that if I had known then what I know now, that I might have changed my mind. But nothing could be further from the truth. It has been a wonderful 12 years full of more blessings that I can count. Never in a million years would I have thought that we would be the parents of five precious children and that one of those would not get to be with us for very long. And even though we have experienced the sadness of losing sweet Madeline, I would not do anything any differently.

Tonight I am missing her. Grayson fell asleep, as he always does when it is past his bedtime, in the living room. I picked him up and held him while he slept and loved every minute of it. He rarely is still long enough for me to hold him otherwise, so this was an extra special time for me. As I was looking at him sleeping in my arms, my heart really longed to be able to hold Madeline again. Sometimes, even nearly two years later, the ache is so overwhelming. I try to make myself not think about all that we lost when we lost her but for just a moment looking at her brother, I remembered and my heart hurts.

We still talk about Madeline alot. As recent as this afternoon, Harrison asked if Madeline could do anything she wanted since she was an angel. I overheard him tell his brothers that he thought she could move our house if she wanted to. I am so thankful that her memory lives on and she is still a very real part of our family. I hope it always stays that way. I know that it will never change for me.

On a more joyous note...we are beginning spring break this week and are so excited to do the things we usually reserve for the weekends. We look forward to staying up late, sleeping in, being totally off schedule, and doing lots of playing. We don't have any definate plans but hope to take a few days to enjoy some family time out of town. The boys can not decide where they want to go so we have not come to an agreement. I am just praying the weather will cooperate with us.

I am so thankful to have all the blessings that God has given me. Brian, if you are reading this, thank you for being the biggest blessing of all. Happy Anniversary.

Mandy

I often read another blog that does this hilarious post called "Not Me Monday". Basically it is just a funny way to deny things that really happen in your life. I have considered doing it several times and then decided that I would have to go back and do a "Not Me" post to cover all of the Hopkins' mishaps from the past few weeks. You won't believe some of this. Even I have my doubts that people have this bad luck. Life is never dull or boring if you live in our house. So here goes my first ever "Not Me" post.
About 6 weeks ago, Ashton did not get accidentally run over by the neighbor's golf cart and only have a scratch to show for it. I was inside and Harry comes running in and says, "Mama, Ashton got run over by the golf cart but he is not dead!" My heart did not go to my feet and I did not feel a sickness come over me as I ran to see him and find out how bad it is. He was fine, just really scared.
I was not trying to take a nap when Harrison hit his head on the corner of the wall in his bedroom about three weeks ago. He and his brothers were supposed to be having some "quiet time" in their beds while mama and daddy got a much-needed break, just for a few minutes. I was so tired I was asleep within moments of laying down. Then I hear the boys at the door and jump up in time to see all this blood and Harrison standing there looking so pitiful and covered in blood. Brian took one look at Harry's head and said he needed stitches so off to the ER we go. I did not almost get weak when I turned around to check on him on the ride to the hospital and could see how deeply he was cut. He was a brave boy though and got about 15 stitches and never cried at all.
I was not back in the ER four days later after Grayson got hit in the nose with a play gun by Ashton. He comes running in the house screaming and pouring blood. I quickly assessed the situation and loaded everyone in the car. I called my friend Jill and said I was hoping for a fast pass through the ER. Brian met me there and picked up the other kids while Grayson got taken care of. The same lady checked us in and laughed at the trouble triplets can get into. This was not getting embarrassing at all and I am sure DFACS was not called.
Then last week, Ashton did not decide to see how it would feel to hit his head on the spare tire on the back of Brian's Trooper, and he did not split his head open. Brian looked at it and said he would be the ER doctor this time and did all the repairs himself. He "butterflied" Ashton's head and he was back at it again in no time.
Then, this week, when I drove up to pick the boys up from school, the school nurse did not come out and tell me that Harrison did not need stitches but that he did run into the wall and had a pretty bad cut that was swollen and bleeding. I told her to document it and be ready to answer some questions from DFACS should they call.
It is a good thing I have nerves of steel or I would not make it in this house. I now am waiting on all the hospital bills to start coming in....I guess we had better get used to it. Such is the life with four rambunctious little boys.

Mandy


P.S. Maxwell asked if he was next!!!! I sure hope not! Praying for an uneventful week.