Our Miracle!

As many of you know, Madeline was born on Thursday, June 7th 8:26 PM. At my doctor's appointment that day we realized Madeline's heart was under stress and my doctor decided we needed to deliver immediately. It was the scariest time of our lives but we just clung to the hope and prayer that we would get to meet Madeline alive.

Indeed, we did! She was born at 8:26 Thursday night and was just beautiful. Brian got to immediately be with her while I was recovering from surgery. He followed her into the NICUnit where they assessed Madeline and started her on oxygen and monitored her heart. She was doing very well and we were so thankful that Madeline even made two tiny little cries. I got to give her a quick kiss before they got her stabilized.

Brian stayed with Madeline while checking in on me and giving me reports of her condition. Everything was looking good and I finally got to see her around 11:00 that night. She was breathing on her own with a little oxygen in her nose and it was so amazing to finally meet this little life that I had known for so long. Madeline was just beautiful and looked so much like Harrison, with a head full of almost-black hair and the fullest lips you can imagine. She had the most perfect little feet and to be as tiny as she was (3 lbs 12.6 ounces and 15 3/4 inches) Her feet were long and skinny, just like her Daddy's.

Brian and I got to spend some really good time with Madeline until the wee hours of the morning. Brian gave her a good bath and we dressed her in a little gown and hat. She made the sweetest little noises but never cried or fussed. I think she really enjoyed her bath best. I then was able to hold her while she took her formula and she slept peacefully. It was so amazing to know that she was here and feel the incredible love we had for her. Some of my family and close friends got to visit Madeline in the NICUnit too. We were all prayful and ever so thankful that this baby we had prayed and hoped for was living and breathing. You could even see her little tiny heart as it beat inside her chest. What a relief it was for me to see each beat of her heart and the rise and fall of her chest.

By 8:00 the next morning, Madeline's little body was getting tired and her heartrate began to drop. Brian and I got to be with her at the very end of her beautiful, short life and spent the day holding and kissing her. We got to really study her and shared some more sweet time with our daughter. All of our family and some close friends were there as well as we said our goodbyes to Madeline. Maxwell even got to hold and love her too. It was the saddest experience of our lives and one we had prayed would not be too soon. We know that God was with us through it all and He had answered our prayers of getting to meet Madeline alive. He even gave us some special time with her that we will never forget.

Brian and I are trying to cope with this incredible loss and need your prayers so much. We knew the day would come when we might lose Madeline but were not prepared for it so suddenly since she was doing so well initially. She surprised a lot of people, even her doctors and nurses.

We are planning to have a graveside service on Wednesday evening at 7:30 at Heritage Memorial Park on Log Cabin Road. We chose this time because it is our favorite time of day. Thank you all for your prayers, calls, cards and emails. It has been comforting to have your support. We know that God will see us through our grief and heartbreak. We love Madeline with all of our hearts and miss her so much. I just wish I could kiss those full little lips one more time. But I'll have to wait to do that in heaven.

Mandy