I have decided to start a blog so that I can journal my feelings as we prepare for Madeline's arrival. Several people have suggested keeping a journal and after reading the blog that Eliot's parents have, I was inspired to write my own. Maybe this will help me as we go through the next few months.
I am now 28 weeks into my pregnancy with Madeline and am getting uncomfortable; however, I am able to get a good night's sleep. Sleep is really great for the mind and body. I guess it is the only time when I don't have Madeline's health on my mind, although I have begun dreaming of her and what her birth will be like.
This whole experience has been so overwhelming and unfamiliar to Brian and me. I have already learned so much. I remember when I went to the dr. for the first time after finding out I was pregnant and seeing the heartbeat and immediately feeling such a sense of relief. I, so naively, thought that because we had a heartbeat, all would be okay. I guess we take so much for granted, like having healthy children. I know it never occured to me that something could be wrong with our baby since we already had 4 perfect boys. It was not until the 12th week checkup that Dr. Boddy saw "soft markers" on the ultrasound that caused concern. Since that day, it seems our life has been a mess. But a mess with lots of hope. I won't give up on hope and prayer! I am still believing in miracles or at least a chance to get to know Madeline and let her know how much she is loved.
I am so anxious about seeing Dr. Hamm on Friday when he will do an echocardiogram on Madeline's heart. I am scared of all that could be wrong but I am praying that God will give me peace about what is to come. Please pray with us as we find out more information about Madeline's condition. I was just reading a post on the Trisomy website that another mother wrote about the significance of Friday. It all made sense and made me feel better. This Friday, the day of my doctor's appointment, is Good Friday and is symbolic of the day Jesus was crucified. I am comforted knowing that God knows the pain we are in because of his own Son's death.
How does this thing work?
5 years ago
6 comments:
Mandy and Brian,
Chip and I will be praying for you, especially on Friday. I feel so honored to have met you, even though I wish it were not under these circumstances. Please remember that you have so many praying and lifting you up when you feel so tired from all of this. And when you are tired also remind yourself of Isaiah 40:28, "He will not grow tired or weary and His understanding no one can fathom." We might not understand how He does not get tired of hearing our cries, but He doesnt. He never sleeps, you are always on His mind.
We are still praying for your entire family. Thank you for sharing Madeline with us.
Rachel and Chip
Mandy,
I am so glad that you are allowing the world to get to know Madeline even before she arrives. I haven't thought about what the Friday means until now, God knows exactly what you are feeling. He will be there no matter what. I want the world to know how much Miss Madeline Grace Hopkins is loved and how special she is to all of us. I think about her all of the time. I look forward to holding her and giving her lots of sugar. I can't wait to meet my first niece!! My excitement reminds me of when we were waiting on Maxwell. She has already captured my heart. I love you and am here for you always. Keep up the blog, I enjoy reading it already.
Mandy,
I think this journaling idea is great. It allows you to share your thoughts and feelings and also gives you (and Brian) time to truly reflect upon Madeline. I know that this whole experience has been so difficult for you but God has been with you and your family and will continue to be there. You are blessed with lots of family and friends that love you and are here for you. I will continue praying for you (and the Hopkins' family) and for your Friday's Dr.'s appointment. I love you!
MANDY AND BRIAN,
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU AS PARENTS, I HURT WITH YOU. I KNOW WE DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY, BUT I KNOW GOD KNOWS BEST. MANDY YOU ARE A WONDERFUL MOTHER,PERSON AND DAUGHTER, BRIAN IS A GREAT FATHER AND A GOOD MAN, WE WILL BE A CLOSER FAMILY AND HOPEFULLY BETTER PEOPLE BECAUSE OF MADELINE GRACE BEING IN OUR LIVES. I PRAY FOR YOU EVERY DAY AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. YOU ARE A VERY SPECIAL PERSON. I AM SO PROUD TO HAVE YOU AS MY OLDEST DAUGHTER.
LOVE
DADDY
Mandy and Brian,
This is such a wonderful way to express your feelings and to let others be a part of your life and thoughts prior to the birth of Madeline Grace.
I do realize I am the new kid on the block, but I am honored to be a part of this journey, this journey with your family.
Just know.... I care for each of you... the boys have captured my heart.
My prayers are with you, Brian and the family as you wait the birth of Madeline. All we can do is ask for His will to be done.
Hang tight girl...miracles do happen.
Love,
Glynda
Mandy & Brian,
I am Chip Wall's sister in Hattiesburg, MS. I am praying for your family. My children will pray for your children, as I know they have concerns and just want you guys to be happy and for their baby sister to be healthy. I am in awe of your courage and calmness. Know how far-reaching your experience is. That's what happens when God's people pray.
Love in Christ, Leighanne Karnes
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