One Year Ago Today

We are very busy getting all the last minute details of the race done. It has been a great distraction for me and a blessing that I don't have the time to dwell on my sorrow as we approach Madeline's first b-day. It was one year ago that I had no reason to think she would come so soon. We got to meet Madeline on Thursday night about 8:30 after an emergency c-section. Her heart was beginning to show signs of stress, and my doctor decided it was best to take her a few weeks early. I am grateful that he did because she would not have made it another day, much less weeks. What an overwhelmingly emotional night that was! I have never been more scared in all my life, and I felt so helpless. I remember laying on the table in the delivery room waiting, what seemed like hours, for the doctor to deliver Madeline and I was trying to think of a scripture to calm me. All I could think of was "I can do all things through Christ who stregthens me!" I know I said it at least a hundred times as I laid their not knowing if Madeline would be alive when she was born. But God was good, and indeed she was alive. They wisked her away, and Brian got to go into the next room and watch as the nurses worked on her. I strained to hear her cry but she never really cried, just made little sweet sounds that I could barely hear. I asked my nurse over and over if Madeline was okay and tried to watch her face to see if I could tell by her expression what was going on with Madeline in the next room. You can not imagine the helplessness and fear I felt during those moments waiting to hear about my only daughter. Madeline was doing just fine and did not even need to be put on the ventilator. She was breathing on her own and only need a little oxygen in her nose. I spent a short time in the recovery room before getting to spend some time with Madeline. What a sight she was to me!!! Brian had been keeping me posted and had left me to go be with her since we did not know how long we had with her. Madeline was beautiful and so perfect in every way. God does not make mistakes! We tried to soak her up and I wished the clock would stop and we could have spent forever in that NICU, loving our only baby girl. What day June 7, 2007 was for our family and friends.
As I look back over the last year, it is only appropriate that we spend tomorrow celebrating the 12 hours we had with Madeline. We will honor her little life and the blessing that she was to us as we hold this first annual Miles for Madeline. I hope she is watching over us tomorrow and smiling down on us as we remember how she has changed our lives for the better.
Keep the race in your prayers and the blessings that God can give through our loss to others.

Mandy

Miles4Madeline slideshow

Please take a moment and go to www.madelinegracefoundation.com and click on Miles 4 Madeline on the left hand side. View the slideshow of our mission and vision for the foundation and for our first race on June 7th.

Thank you to Todd Lowe for creating this slideshow and to Dreau for posting it on our foundation's website.

We are looking forward to seeing you on June 7th!

Mandy

Miles 4 Madeline 5K Walk/Run

Just a quick update on the race we have planned for Madeline's first birthday, June 7, 2008. We are still trying to get sponsors and get some details worked out but we are looking forward to a great response. I am excited that we have been able to have this to focus on and honor Madeline's life in such a tangible way. We are praying that God blesses this event and uses it as He sees fit. It has been a lot of work and we have so many friends and family members to thank for their help. Without their support, none of this would be possible. If you have not had an opportunity, please visit the foundation's website at www.madelinegracefoundation.com

Thank you for your interest! If you are interested in participating in the race on June 7, you can go to runningintheusa.com and register online. Please email me if you have any questions or would be interested in sponsoring. My email is miles4madeline@yahoo.com

Blessings,
Mandy

Madeline's Brothers

I wanted to share some recent pictures of our boys and all the fun they have been having. The first is our oldest, Maxwell. We are so proud that he won a writing contest at his school called Celebration of Writing. He wrote a great story called "A Strange Day in July". The other photo shows the triplets and their love of all things "muddy"! It is a rare day when I can keep them clean, but I have learned that dirt and boys just go together.

Thanks for checking in on us.

Mandy

Your prayers are needed!

Another mom I have "met" through my blogging and T18 journey is scheduled to deliver her daughter tomorrow (Monday). Please take a moment and pray that she and her family have lots of time with their sweet baby, Eva Janette. I know how uncertain your time is when you know your baby has a terminal diagnosis and every prayer helps. You can visit Eva's mom's blog at www.evajanette.blogspot.com Leave her a comment letting her know she is in your thoughts and prayers.

Thanks!
Mandy

The Other Side

This post goes along with something I saw on another blog, the CF husband blog that I have posted here before. Nate's wife, Tricia, has cystic fibrosis and they had a little girl named Gwyneth 8 weeks ago. Gwyneth is doing well in the NICU but has at least two more months of growing to do before she is able to go home. Her mother, Tricia, is also doing well but is currently waiting for a lung transplant. You can visit their blog at http://cfhusband.blogspot.com/ and see how others are telling Tricia all the joys of motherhood and all that she has to look forward to with Gwyneth.
Which brings me to my post today.......If I were on the other side of this blog, I would still act as if I had it all together. I have found out that I don't, never did, and never will.

Since becoming a mother to the boys and losing Madeline last year, I have learned:

that life is uncertain and we are not promised tomorrow so take advantage of today.

that children are a blessing, even when they come in threes (I have always known this but have to remind myself when the triplets are arguing or fighting over something and I want to pull my hair out!!!)

that a child can have a purpose even when she is taken from us too quickly.

that it is okay to be heartbroken....God has a way of moving you forward and earthly children keep you from giving up, while a baby in Heaven keeps you looking forward to a reunion like we can not imagine.

that your children don't care if you are not perfect.

that little boys are happiest when they are wet and muddy and desperately need a bath.

that a bandaid and a kiss from Mama can pretty much cure all things hurt.

that the sweetest sounds are your children singing, laughing, and praying.

that the hardest thing about parenting is not always jumping in to "fix" it but allowing your child to make their own mistakes.

that even with all the pain and heartache that comes with losing a child, the love you always feel for her makes it all worth it.

that at the end of the day you have all you need when you look at your sleeping children.

Exciting News

Hi, Everyone. We have been busy getting the Madeline Grace Foundation set up and organized. We have lots of ideas on how we can use Madeline's memory to help others. My sister has taken this on as a special project and I am so grateful for all that she is doing.
Our first fundraiser is a 5K Race in downtown Milledgeville on Madeline's one year birthday. This marathon is a "Run and See Georgia" endorsed race and hopefully, we will have lots of participants. All of the proceeds of the race will go to our local Pregnancy Center. We chose the Pregnancy Center since I was encouraged to have an abortion when we found out that Madeline had a terminal diagnosis. But we believe that only God gives life and abortion is wrong. I hope to personally work with the Pregnancy Center and encourage other woman who might find themselves carrying a baby with a poor diagnosis.
We are looking forward to what is to come and I will be giving more details soon on the race. Mark your calendars and plan to join us for a worthy cause and lots of fun.
My brother-in-law is working hard to get our website set up. Go to www.madelinegracefoundation.com and see what he has done so far. (Thanks, Dreau!) We appreciate all of your support and for continuing to pray for us.

Mandy